Thursday, 31 May 2007
I am never a choice
Stop digging more secrets. Stop unfolding more truths.
It will just end here. Everything.
He has feelings for a girl whom he knew for only 2 months.
I am just an asset...for the past 7 years.
I defended him. We don't judge him when we don't know what he is thinking.
But all along, I knew it was that girl. I asked. He denied.
Now...for the very last time...I told him. I trust you.
He says nothing.
All I want is you to tell me, you have feelings for her. You are hanging there.
You didn't further develop with her, perhaps because you don't want people to see you as a jerk.
All along you told me you have feelings for someone. I asked you who. I asked you if it's true, I'll just let go. You never say anything. Later then, you told me not really feelings. Your heart is now dead. I asked if you have been a single for the past few months. You said yes. And there you wrote you have those good memories with her and you will miss her no matter how long it takes. This is not how things gonna fucking work.
I cherish you as someone...I wanted to forgive...and try again.
You took me as an asset...a choice that if she doesn't want you...I am still there for you.
Today, you told me...we can never be together again.
I should be the one telling you this.
I don't want you anymore.
I'm definitely not a choice and will never be "one" of those choices.
From the bottom of my heart, I wish the two of you can work.
Because...I'm trying to work here too...I don't get choose by someone. I holds the control. It is not heaven that wants to give me a chance to try. It is I who decide if I should give you another chance. I hurt you. I'm sorry. You let me down. I don't demand any apology.
I hope she will be your bride. Cause somehow I don't want you to get hurt again. But don't worry. On the day of your wedding, I know someone will be there...hugging me while watching you walking down the aisle with your future love. I will hope that you find your true love...only when you know what is love.
The Yixiang I love has gone for a holiday. Yes. He's not coming back.
Xueling, you will move on with or without someone. and rest assure...you will live better than ever.
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| I coloured my life at 02:26
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