Torn apart between Libra and Scorpio, I cannot define my personality as well. I seem to be optimistic yet pessimistically emotional. I want to be the best yet might sometimes be too lazy to put in my best. Whatever that is, I guess my blog speaks better than myself.
Tomorrow's my first paper. Not fully prepared but I guess it doesn't really matter. I've been a good girl recently. Been trying to study hard although I can't really concentrate. sigh... I miss you. =( What have you been doing? How are you?
How? when the night arrives, and everything turns quiet... I'll start to think of him. It's kind of ironic. When I was with him, I don't think of him as much as I do now. Humans. Pathetic humans. Yea...I'm here missing him, and perhaps... He's now flirting with other woman. He's now laughing off watching a movie. He's now sleeping soundly. He's now ... whatever. It's just not worth it. But I can't help it either.
Is it good or bad? Nobody believes I can live without man. Nobody believes I can survive on my own for more than 3 months. LOL~... How true is it? I don't know. So are you all supposed to say that I'm a loser and I can fall in love damn easily, or I'm so attractive that it's not a problem to meet good man? LOL!
What's the definition of a good/fine man? shove aside the watever appearance requirements. A good/fine man is someone who will love me, and whom I love. Anymore in the world? Perhaps, none. So why even bother to define a good man. =D
All these readings are driving me crazy. Can't wait till I get my butt out of my house tomorrow afternoon. Going out to breathe the air and study AGAIN!
Bear with it...Xueling..It will soon be over! It's all about PERSEVERANCE!
Trying to get back the pace of my life again... Been busy studying for my exams... Stoning at times... Surfing around Friendster...*and thinking of him sometimes*... Life goes on. Yes, it fucking sucks...but we just don't have a choice I guess.
Now the thing is, I have to get my pace back ASAP, and don't wanna be a pathetic sobbing ex-girlfriend of anyone.
People out there...please lend a hand. I must fulfill the seven commandments: 1) Sixty days without contacting him. 2) Look for a breakup buddy. 3) Get rid of his stuff and the things that remind me of him. 4) Get my ass in motion every day. 5) Don't wear my breakup out into the world. 6) No backsliding! 7) Making myself number one!
After some thought... I felt much better. It all began when we both just ended our previous relationships. I guess we must be feeling lonely. and then we came to brighten up each other lives...=)
I'm thankful that you have come and walked beside me for the past few months. You relieved me from a great pain... although you inflicted some on me again... But things are improving...and I grew stronger.
Maybe it all started in the wrong way. But we used to be happy...and that's what good memories are. Yup...I'll try to remain as your friend. =) If there happens to be another time when both of us are ready...and still feel something for each other...we might try again, ain't it?
Life's is supposed to be like that. Don't be too harsh on things...and things might turn out unexpectedly good.
I'll remember you. and of course...I'll be a good girl this time...no more recklessness. I promise. Mr. Pig!! Make me cry again and I'll bite you like there's no tomorrow!!! =D
Been through once...and I thought it won't feel as hard as it used to be. But I'm wrong.
The tears never stop flowing. Guys are so hard to be trusted. Why is it so difficult to cherish something so hard to come by. Why not use the cruelest excuse and tell me you have fallen for somebody else... instead of telling me I love you but I have to leave you so that I won't continue hurting you.
Does it sound any better? The former sounds much easier for me to let go. It's painful...It hurts... but I seriously don't know what to do or say. mmm... never try again. don't try le ba...
We went East Coast Park Long Beach for dinner just now. Mind you...I already had my dinner before going out. Then no choice, have to eat again =D hahaha
We had:
Chilli Crab + 2 man tous
Baby Kailan
Seafood fried rice
Drunken prawn herbal soup
Honey Dew Sago
Totaled $90 GST inclusive.
We ate alot! and I realise I no longer frequently update my photos because I've put on weight. haha.
Anywayz... their honey dew sago has got awesome presentation~I love the way they put in the dry ice...making the dessert look like potion. =)
I tried to take picture of the dry ice. But the photo just don't show the effect. =(
This semester is crazy. The most tedious semester - I've been spending the past few weeks with at least 3 days per week in school for at least 8 hours rushing my projects.
I've tried doing my project non-stop from 1pm up till 9pm. I almost glued my eyes to the computer screen. Fatigue~
Even gerren starts complaining that I totally have nothing to talk to him. Seriously, what interesting thing can somebody, who have been staring at the computer screen for the whole day, talk about? Plus, I even forgot that I have an advanced theory test coming next monday. And I've yet to study. ermz. That isn't an important issue though.
But I realise gerren and I are distancing. We haven't seen each other since last...last...monday? that was my birthday.
Life's miserable. I'm better off living as a single.
